The Effects of Misgendering and Deadnaming on Mental Health

Language has power. For transgender and nonbinary people, being addressed by the correct name and pronouns is more than just a matter of courtesy — it’s an acknowledgment of identity, existence, and humanity. Misgendering and deadnaming (using someone’s birth or former name instead of their affirmed name) may seem like “small mistakes” to some, but their impact can be deeply harmful. 

For many trans and nonbinary folks, these experiences aren’t just occasional slip-ups. They’re daily reminders of invalidation, rejection, and the world’s discomfort with who they are. This blog explores how misgendering and deadnaming affect mental health and what true allyship and support can look like. 

What is Misgendering and Deadnaming? 

• Misgendering happens when someone is referred to with the wrong gender pronouns (e.g., using "he" instead of "they" or "she"). 

• Deadnaming refers to using a transgender or nonbinary person’s birth name after they’ve changed it as part of their transition. 

Both can occur in a range of situations — school, work, healthcare, family gatherings, or even by well-meaning friends. Whether intentional or accidental, the impact can be deeply painful. 

Why It Hurts: The Mental Health Impact 

💔 Undermines Identity 

Being misgendered or deadnamed sends the message that a person’s gender identity is not valid or real. This can create a profound sense of invisibility and erasure. 

😔 Triggers Dysphoria 

For many trans and nonbinary people, hearing the wrong name or pronouns can intensify gender dysphoria — a distressing disconnect between their gender identity and how others perceive or treat them. 

🧠 Leads to Emotional Distress 

Repeated experiences of misgendering or deadnaming are often linked to: 

• Anxiety 

• Depression 

• Social withdrawal 

• Low self-esteem 

• Suicidal ideation 

These experiences are forms of microaggressions — subtle but harmful forms of discrimination that accumulate over time and damage a person’s mental well-being. 

🧱 Creates Unsafe Environments 

When people are consistently misgendered or deadnamed, they may avoid spaces where it happens — including schools, workplaces, or healthcare settings. This isolation can worsen mental health and limit access to critical resources and support. 

The Importance of Affirmation 

Using the right name and pronouns is a simple but powerful way to affirm someone’s identity. Research shows that this kind of affirmation significantly reduces the risk of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts in trans and nonbinary youth. 

One study found that transgender youth who were consistently affirmed in their chosen name and pronouns experienced: 

• 71% fewer symptoms of severe depression 

• 34% decrease in reported suicidal thoughts 

• 65% decrease in suicidal behavior 

These are not just numbers — they reflect the real, life-saving impact of respect and recognition. 

How to Support and Affirm 

If you’re not trans or nonbinary, your role in respecting identity is vital. Here’s how you can help: 

✅ Use Correct Pronouns and Names — Every Time 

Practice. Make it a habit. And if you mess up, apologize briefly, correct yourself, and move on. Don’t make it about your guilt — just do better next time. 

🛑 Don’t Ask for “Real” Names or Deadnames 

There’s no need to ask someone what their “real” name was. The name they give you is their real name. Deadnaming is invasive and disrespectful, even if done out of curiosity. 

🧾 Update Records and Systems 

In institutions (like schools, clinics, or workplaces), advocate for the ability to change names and pronouns in systems, documents, and databases — without requiring a legal name change. 

🗣️ Speak Up Against Misgendering 

If you hear someone misgender or deadname another person, gently correct them if it’s safe to do so. Silence enables harm. 

💬 Use Gender-Inclusive Language 

In group settings, use language that includes everyone (e.g., “everyone” instead of “ladies and gentlemen”). Normalize asking for pronouns — and sharing your own. 

For Those Who’ve Been Misgendered or Deadnamed 

If you’re someone who’s been misgendered or deadnamed, know that your feelings are valid. You don’t have to minimize your pain to make others more comfortable. 

You deserve to be seen, respected, and addressed correctly — in every space. 

💖 Here are a few reminders: 

• Your identity is real. 

• Your name and pronouns matter. 

• You are not a burden for asking others to respect you. 

• It’s okay to advocate for yourself — or walk away from spaces that don’t honor you. 

Finding or building affirming spaces (through chosen family, community, therapy, or support groups) can be incredibly healing. You are not alone in this journey. 

Final Thoughts: Language as Liberation 

Using someone’s correct name and pronouns is one of the simplest ways to show respect — and one of the most powerful acts of support. In a world that too often marginalizes trans and nonbinary people, honoring someone’s identity is not just kind — it’s essential. 

Because everyone deserves to feel safe, seen, and celebrated for who they truly are.